Is people-pleasing blocking your intuition?
Do you sometimes eat more than you really want to just to be polite?! Are you one of those people who will share a dish or have another glass of wine just because someone else wants to? I know I’ve been there!
People-pleasing, an ingrained tendency in many of us, can often interfere with our ability to connect with our intuition. Frequently seeking approval from others can lead us down a path where we prioritize external validation over our own inner voice.
Have you noticed the (inverse) connection between people-pleasing and intuition?
It's easy to fall into the trap of constantly trying to make others happy. But in doing that, we inadvertently drown out our intuition, the inner compass that guides us towards our authentic desires and decisions.
When you spend all of your time seeking the approval of others, hanging out in their energy trying to work out what you can do to make them happy or trying to get their approval, you stop listening inwards.
You can’t hear your intuition because you’re too busy seeking the answers you think someone else wants to hear.
When we invest all our time and energy trying to meet the expectations of others, we become detached from ourselves. The noise of external opinions drowns out the whispers of our intuition.
We find ourselves stuck in a loop of second-guessing and overthinking, trying to anticipate what others want to hear or see, rather than focusing on our own inner truths.
Have you caught yourself people-pleasing when there’s no-one else around?
I have noticed that sometimes I even people-please when no-one else is there! I’m making art and there’s a soundtrack going through my head around what other people will think and whether they will approve. I’m subconsciously worrying about how my art will be perceived, seeking validation from an audience that isn't even present!
I believe that breaking free from the grip of people-pleasing starts with self-awareness and self-acceptance. Recognizing when we engage in people-pleasing behaviors allows us to take steps towards reclaiming our intuition.
Here are some strategies that I’m using to help strike a balance:
Mindfulness: Practice being present in the moment and gently redirect your thoughts when they drift toward seeking external validation. If you can feel the urge to please coming up, take a breath, give yourself a moment to come back down and into your core.
Tune inwards: Set aside time for self-reflection and inner listening. For me, intentional art-making is an opportunity to tune into and reflect on where I’m placing greater importance on pleasing others rather than my own thoughts, preferences & desires. One way that I do this is through intuitive drawing. Join the Intentional Art-Making Library (it’s free) to find out more about it here.
Embrace vulnerability: Be willing to show up authentically, even if it means being imperfect or facing disapproval. Remember that your worth isn't determined by the opinions of others. It’s not easy if you’re a seasoned people-pleaser so celebrate small steps.
Set boundaries: Learn to say 'no' when necessary and prioritize your own needs and well-being.
Celebrate self-expression: Value the process of creation for its own sake, regardless of external judgments.
Over time, as we lessen our dependency on people-pleasing, we regain access to our intuition, which serves as a powerful guide in making decisions aligned with our true selves. So let's dare to listen within and pave the way for a more joyful and intuitive existence.
